What does it mean to feel connected? Some couples can easily describe what a healthy connection feels like. They feel close and no issues get in the way or keep them at a distance. But feeling connected is more than simply getting along. These couples experience emotional intimacy and feel happy and a sense a peace when they are together and apart. And their mood and presence effortlessly reveal their positive connection.
Others describe feeling connected simply as “Things are good. We are good.” Still others may say, “Well, nothing is bad. So it must be good.” How can we monitor our sense of connection? Sometimes our partner may feel more connected than we do. And many times we may closer to our partner than he or she does to us.
Certainly people can feel connected through both tangible and intangible means. Many couples feel connected when they spend time and enjoy activities together, help each other with small and large tasks, and think about each other throughout the day. Others may feel more engaged when they can be fully present for each other and feel listened to, validated and understood.
Under the surface connected couples might think, “We are in reach of each other and feel safe, supported and bonded.” Though we rarely use those words to describe our relationship perceptions, closeness often results from feeling safe. We might think of feeling generally close when we feel generally safe. It’s a good starting point, but there is much more possible for us to enjoy. For example, an underlying sense of freedom to be ourselves and feel accepted for who we are can boost our couple intimacy. And there are many more forms that intimacy can take.
How about you? When do you feel most closely connected to your partner? Is it through certain activities and when you spend quality time with each other? Do you feel close when you are simply doing nothing? Are you most connected through sharing mutual compliments and meaningful conversation? Or, does your relationship come alive through affection, touch and sex?
To the above questions you might answer, “Yes, yes and yes!” The wonderful truth is that we can experience intimacy with our partner in numerous ways. And this great news offers hope to countless couples who are seeking a deeper connection. Partners often prefer different ways of connecting. So, becoming an expert on what helps our partner feel close to us is a vital process. And most of us can use a little help.
The book 40 Forms of Intimacy: Integrating Daily Connection Into Your Couple Relationship offers numerous promising ways for couples to feel close. Discovering which ways work for you and your partner can help you both build and strengthen your personalized sense of couple intimacy.
As the author, I am excited for you to begin exploring the many possibilities to enhance your relationship! Look for this book in June 2015. It could change the way you see your relationship and live your life.
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