#40 – Visioning!

Visioning Intimacy

If you agree that planning ahead to SHAPE your relationship is important, read on…

Instead of passively seeing what shape our relationship takes, we can step into an active role to customize our sense of intimacy. If you are intentional each day, you will be living in the relationship you desire rather than just wishing for it.

Begin with THE END in mind. That is, staying connected to your spouse until the last breath you take on this planet (not the end of the relationship). Let me help!

Below is a FREE excerpt from my book 40 Forms of Intimacy: Integrating Daily Connection Into Your Couple Relationship...

Visioning Intimacy is just 1 of the 40 ways a couple can feel closely connected. Visioning Intimacy is defined as “Dreaming about and visualizing our future together, including how we will feel and what we will see and do as a couple and family.”

NOW, consider getting strategic! Business and organization owners do not proceed without first knowing who they are, where they are going and how to get there. They create a mission and vision statement! Why wouldn’t we do the same for our most important (and most intimate and complicated) relationship on earth?

Knowing that we can co-create our marriage can give us great confidence and security in our future. Imagining and discussing a vision for our relationship builds safety and produces hope and faith that the relationship will continue. It implies that we are both on the same page to enhance our connection.

Couple Vision Statement

Let’s think about what could be included in a Couple Vision Statement. As we focus on this activity, it is important to validate our partner’s dreams and visions, especially when they are different from ours. Ultimately we will merge the lists to include both of our needs and desires into one clear vision.

Here are some ideas that help couples begin building a vision statement for their relationship:

• Recall your personal life-driven values that are essential for you to stay on track and shape a path toward a loving, intimate and fulfilling relationship. Think of values, beliefs, morals, ethics and spirituality for starters.

• Reflect on what you absolutely enjoy doing with your partnerevery day, week, month and year. Maybe waking up or going to bed at the same time each night is important to you. Perhaps going to church every weekend helps you feel a deeper connection.

• Review the many Forms of Intimacy to prioritize your needs and preferences.

• Take into account your and your partner’s values, priorities, spiritual beliefs, guiding life principles, morals, ethics, dreams, hopes, preferences and anything else important to you both.

• Consider together your future, family, children, health, career goals, strengths and growth areas.

• Anticipate who will be involved along the way such as family, friends, professionals, coaches and others.

• Picture yourself ten years from now.

• Talk about where you would like to be in ten years and where you would like your marriage to be.

• Prepare a chart showing the ten-year period.

• List obstacles you might encounter in implementing the plan.

• Devise ways to hurdle each obstacle.

• Each of you writes a page about how you would feel in ten years from now if you accomplished the plan.

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